Reflect

It's almost a month since I'm back from Tainan, Taiwan. I've been SO BUSY ever since school started. I don't think having such a long lunar new year holiday is a good thing after all. I'm lagging behind.....the festive mood just make my holiday mood to stay in me even longer  I have reports to write for the trips, weekly economic quiz to do online, 2 presentations coming up next week and 1 homework is already due, 1 more coming after this week.  BUSY, BUSY, BUSY. I'm now officially part of the executive committee in AIESEC, under the Global Community Development Outgoing Exchange Department. From next week onwards, I have to start working with my new position. I'm in charged of marketing with another member. I never do such a thing before but I know my members will be there to assist me and my team leader will guide me along. I hope I can learn many things from this experience and gain the most out from it. 

Anyway, I miss Taiwan so badly. Not just the place, the food, but most importantly, the people and the kids there. They are the ones whom I look forward to to see everyday when I go to work. It's really pleasant to chat with the teachers and students there. This is because the more I get to chat with them, the more I know about the local Taiwanese style of living, thinking and mindset. 

After coming back from the trip, I have to submit 3 reports. 1 for AIESEC NUS, 1 for NUS (as I applied and got an internship bursary) and 1 for the principal at the elementary school in Taiwan. Each report has its own main points to be delivered therefore I cannot use the same report for all of them. Hence, each time when I start to write the report, I will do a reflection. I think back what I've done for the 6 weeks, the details and see which one I should include for the report. For each issue/area that I include in the report, I will think about what's my takeaway from it and any feelings and comments I have. I think it's important to do reflections, especially after such trips. This way, I can pen down the thoughts I have and I will have a chance to look back. Through these reflections, I may also find new values and principals that I want to include in my life. When I really do that, my life and character will change gradually. Of course, I have to keep in mind those values and principals, apply them in my actions and then I will be able to see the change. 

However, change is really not easy. Sometimes, I just realize, no matter how hard I try to change, certain things just remain the same. The same old cycle and result will still happen. I think only the start of the cycle might be a little different, but it will still give me the same result. The same result that I don't want, that I want to change. 

Change. It's easier said than done. 

Even if you've done it, the change might still not be seen. 

All I want is to have a change. A change for the better. I tried. I failed. I tried again. And I failed again. And I tried again and fail again. How many times should I do this to see the result I want? Persistent is the key? I know but I don't have much time left. It's just so depressing to see myself fail again and again. 

Now, I truly understand, good things don't come by easy. 

Can anyone tell me when will I be able to achieve the change I want?